The Gift


artBearing children is one of those
‘things’ to which we as women
are expected by society to
aspire. I’ve been in the middle
of a group of women where someone was
trying to express her trepidation and
concern about what was about to happen,
but was shut down with a terse comment
of: “A child is a gift!” Yes, that’s true, but
sometimes parenting is really difficult for
some; there are hard decisions to be made,
and saying you feel differently isn’t popular
among the masses.
If you’ve not been able to have a child,
and after many years of waiting have
been fortunate to adopt, then of course
that child is a gift. If you’ve suffered the
heartbreak of a miscarriage but have later
been able to give birth, then of course
that child is a gift. There are many other
But I think there are also examples of
where the mother struggles to accept this
‘gift’ analogy. The child may be the result
of an assault; or there was lack of access to
contraceptives; or she didn’t have a choice
as to whether or not she wanted children.
These are very real situations in our world.
You could be carrying a child who’ll have
special needs—or you find that out after
the birth, or even after a number of years.
These realizations weigh heavily.


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